Saturday, July 11, 2009

Knitting/Crocheting Ailments and Diseases

After you've been knitting/crocheting a while and it's pretty deeply incorporated into your will begin to notice that there are ailments and diseases you can be susceptible to that you may not have been aware of, had you not been a knitter/crocheter.
One of the most widespread diseases that we're still trying to find a cure the curse of the boyfriend sweater.

Many of you know about and may have even survived this disease. For those of you who haven't received your immunity shot against this disease yet because you've never heard of's the curse that happens when you invest in yarn and stitch by stitch, lovingly create a sweater (or other project) for your partner. The curse is that once you put out the energy to create and complete this sweater/project....he mysteriously disappears out of your relationship life. We are still taking donations to find the cure for this debilitating disease. Fortunately, I have only had inklings of wanting to knit a boyfriend sweater, but in all my years have thankfully never acted on it.

Another disease that's going around is "Second Sock Syndrome." You know it well....when you make that first sock and it even turns out beautifully, but somehow, you just can't get the energy up to want to live through creating the second one. Maybe it's the repetition factor. Maybe you just don't feel it for the project and want to break off the relationship. This, (and because of the other disease of washing machines magically making one of the pair disappear better than Houdini ever could-Laundered Sock Consumptitis) is probably what inspired the invention of the mismatched three sock set sold in hip clothing shops and gift stores today.

Another ailment is Mohair Manic Depression. This is where you find a mistake earlier in your work and have to frog your mohair project down to the mistake to fix it. Give up now! Put a felted heart over the imperfection because mohair is clingier than the worst case of codependency! Another similar type disorder, known as Novelty Yarn Neurotic Disorder, has similar symptoms to Mohair Manic Depression, as it can wreak havoc on your emotional state, but often people will deal with it by saying, "Novelty yarns? They're so last decade. Nobody's using them anymore." Then they throw the project in the UFO closet never to look at it again...or find a new use for it as a cat toy.

I know there are many many more ailments and diseases to warn you about in the needle arts and if you know of any more... please tell us about them. So, please give consideration to these ailments before investing your time, money and energy into a project. This has been a public service blog entry announcement and I approve this message.

Before I sign off for the month...please check out this very entertaining (and abandoned) blog that explores afflictions of the designer's sense of taste...starting with this entry that alludes to the aforementioned disease we've discussed...the curse of the boyfriend sweater....

Keep knitting(crocheting, etc) matter what afflictions lurk!